you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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