I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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