I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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