ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Girls should come with a carfax report
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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