WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
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I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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