Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize