i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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