The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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