If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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