mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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