I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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