u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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