how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize