walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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