I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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