New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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