Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month

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(215): i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month http://tfl.nu/ruzp

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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(865): Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand. http://tfl.nu/3nr4

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(614): View more from Ohio

Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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(614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4

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(760): View more from California

I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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(760): I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night http://tfl.nu/kc6c

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(917): View more from New York City

i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.

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(917): i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him. http://tfl.nu/coq9

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(713): View more from Texas

when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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(713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl

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(813): View more from Florida

We shouldn"t be alone together

(606): View more from Kentucky

you didn"t say that yesterday

(813): View more from Florida

you weren't married yesterday

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(813): We shouldn"t be alone together (606): you didn"t say that yesterday (813): you weren't married yesterday http://tfl.nu/oykj

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(406): We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase. http://tfl.nu/9rce

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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(859): I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here. http://tfl.nu/288t

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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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(618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577

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(618): View more from Illinois

Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.

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(618): Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/svji

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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(832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."

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(215): i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight." http://tfl.nu/7mfw

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.

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(763): I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously. http://tfl.nu/s4km

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(516): View more from New York

Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle

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(516): Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle http://tfl.nu/gy3s

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