Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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