and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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