you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you had me at cake vodka
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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