I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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