"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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