I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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