this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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