Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize