dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize