It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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