Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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