just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize