I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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