If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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