lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize