well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize