So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize