I got chris browned last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize