Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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