i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize