After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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