WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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