Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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