If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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