Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize