Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize