I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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