would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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