i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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