I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Found the puke drawer
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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