forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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