You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize