I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize